Month: September 2017



“People don’t really change, Christian,” he said.

“Oh? I think they can,” I replied.

“Nope!” he was adamant and dug in, “I don’t believe anyone changes. I think they only adapt to what’s going on around them.”

My friend and I discussed this for quite some time.

“It takes a lot of energy to change one small thing in someone’s life,” he continued. “And, I think people remain the same. They never really change, they just adapt.”

My friend and I have had many conversations over the years, and many times we disagreed. But that’s okay. We respected each other’s opinions.

It wasn’t like we were arguing either; more like he would tell me his point of view; I would chew on it, then I would tell him my point of view. He would mull it over for a few days and we’d exchange thoughts again.

Oh, and we were not out to change each other’s opinions. We volleyed thoughts and ideas and beliefs around.

“I’m going to hell,” he once quipped. And, he was serious.

“Oh?” That seemed to be my default reply.

“Yep,” and then he went on for several minutes why he was going to hell, and why he thought he was going to enjoy it.

He knew I was a preacher in my twenty’s. He knew my belief system. He was totally serious and not trying to mock or disrespect my past or current beliefs.

“Oh my,” I said with a smile, but he wasn’t smiling. Then I said, “Well…okay then.”

Then he talked about life, changing, even quitting and moving on to do something else that wouldn’t be such a drain on him.

I listened.

“Well, I can’t just up and start over. That’s a lot of work and takes energy that I don’t have.” he was right. Not many folks I’ve talked with have the same insight. My friend is very deliberate and intentional when it comes to thinking things through.

Yet, at the end of the day, we were still friends. And even today, even though we live miles apart now, we’re still friends.

Respect. Honor. And, lot of trust between us…even in spite of all our differences.

I’ve thought long about our conversations at times over the years. Especially his view about change.

I think we’re both right. If there’s a right or a wrong to be had here.


I’ve always been interested in change. Mostly because I grew up a hot head, kept to myself, smallest guy in class, and a bit of an introvert, unless I felt comfortable.

That led to a lot of trouble. Being comfortable that is.

Then I’d cut loose. Then I’d get into trouble. Then I would get frustrated. Then I would lose my temper.

Trust me. I needed to change. And I did.


I gave myself to each career I’ve had, and I’ve burned out in each. To the point that I was getting physically sick from the stress and tension that burnout brings.

I didn’t take care of myself during those times. I thought it was a badge of honor to say things like, “Yeah, I go on about 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night.” Oh, make sure to picture my head held high when you read this, because that’s how much esteem I put on that statement.

I thought going on little sleep and working 14 to 18 hours a day was how it needed to be done.

So, the only time I ever got sleep was when my body became so exhausted that I would crash once a month and sleep 10 to 12 hours.

Sleep deprivation is a killer. I was lucky.

I quit a perfect job that I loved to start over from scratch, and that being over the age of 50!

So, now, I know it can be done.


We live in a time that our country is being torn by opinions without any regard to facts. I don’t get into politics or even hashing about the news much. Most of it is opinion, or spun with a certain filter; it’s hard to glean the facts and make good decisions about current affairs.

But, family members will go to war over whether or not Trump’s statements about NFL players was right or wrong.

Heck, family will go to war over who’s right or who’s wrong when it comes to evolution or creation.

I have family members who have unfriended and blocked me on Facebook because I’ve published a book, write certain things on this blog, and…the changes I have made in my life.

I’m sorry I have let so many down. I just think it’s time to respect and honor the core beliefs within as well as those who differ from us.

I wonder…would this whole issue about the NFL and the National Anthem be much of an issue if those who have the issue would sit down, chat with respect and dignity toward each other and come up with a solution about the issue?


I miss the days of having a conversation with my friend about things we disagreed on.

Those volleys were such a healthy thing for the mind. I made him think. He made me think. We came up with some great ideas between one another that made an impact in the county we lived and worked.

Think of that! Two men, who completely disagreed on many things, from what we believe in to how to get a job done, could actually respect and honor one another that when we acted as one, made changes that affected a whole community!

Oh, that brings up the fact that there was Action and not mere words involved!


Again, it all comes down to this with him and I:

  • Respect
  • Honor
  • Trust
  • and I’ll throw this in there…Love!
Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Reinvention, 2 comments

There is a Well

A mentor told me in my early 20’s, “You must fill your well if you expect to have anything to say that’s worthwhile.” His reference was to reading.

Reading a book is like taking the hand of an author; at which time, she leads you down a path. A path that turns, dips, and climbs; it weaves in and out of dense foliage; it takes you through dry desert places and returns you to lush forests; and sometimes surprises you with vast precipices that you awe at the depths.

You grab her hand and trust she’ll lead you safely and wonderfully through a landscape that she alone chooses…for you.

To trust such a guide is to allow our lives to be enriched, and that, no one on this planet can steal, barter, or diminish from you.

It’s a treasure gained. A treasure that you can reach for and use at anytime. A treasure that can change you forever.

Of course, at any time, we can always let go of the author’s hand, but we will never experience the journey. It’s a shame to miss out on the wondrous light of elves, the dark tunnels of orcs, or the luminous and breathtaking peaks of another world far away.

I lost many years being one who loathed to read. Now, though I am far from a fast, voracious, or prolific reader, I take the hands of many who have toiled to bring me new worlds, new visions, and new experiences.

Fill your well.

Fill it frequently.

Fill it daily.

Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Reinvention, 2 comments