Month: August 2018

How I Remain Fluid in Times of Change

How I Remain Fluid in Times of Change

Change, without sounding too cliché-ish, is inevitable.

I know you know that. But do we really consider what that means on a daily approach to living in a world where there are unknown variables that pop up and come as a total surprise?

Summer waxes old in the northern hemisphere and Fall is waiting patiently to step through the door of seasons.

Even the seasons tell us that change is all around us.

I’ve even seen a little yellow in the leaves starting lately around where I live.

It doesn’t matter if you have come to a place in life and said, “Enough! I’m going to finally do something about this (whatever this is) and I’m going to do X, Y, & Z now.”

Or, life throws you a curve ball and you find yourself in a place of change.

Some changes are planned, intentional, and purposely acted upon.

Some changes are completely out of our control, forced upon us by external circumstances that we didn’t know existed, or didn’t factor into our plans of living life.

Or, as a mentor of mine told me long ago—“Christian, it’s never just one thing”—more than likely it’s a combination of those factors above.

***

I have set out to make changes, to improve myself, my quality of life; to set myself in a place to thrive and flourish, to excel and become more productive; to live free of bone-crushing debt, to live in peace; only find that the changes I set out to make have been met with unexpected and unforeseen circumstances that have caused me to veer off the course that I originally planned to take.

Welcome to the real world.

It can be bewildering at times!

Bewildering and confusing and anxiety-producing when real life clashes into my world of expectations based on…I don’t know what.

I tend to think in linear and logical terms. I have a plan. And that plan means that X + Y better equal Z. But…it rarely does.

And when it doesn’t, I tend to shrink into my shell, hide from others, hide from life, slink to the darkest areas of any cave that I can find that’s deep, cold, and dark.

Which means that I begin to question whether I made a huge mistake in making certain decisions, then try to hang onto past titles and glories and exploits that put me on top of the game in certain fields and careers.

But that just grinds regret into my soul which feels like broken glass tumbling around in my veins with every heartbeat and then I forget to practice gratefulness.

***

Fluid means this as an adjective — able to flow easily; smoothly elegant or graceful.

Funny how that we desire change, or when the unexpected happens and change is forced upon us and we must change (or a life situation changes), that we can be so darn rigid in our approach to life.

I find that in dealing with change, being Fluid — to flow smoothly, elegantly (of course if you’re like me, smooth is a term associated with tripping on a crack in the sidewalk)—in life, relieves the tension and anxiety within the change.

How do I do that?

  • – I reflect. I flesh out what is and has happened through journaling. This item helps me to put into perspective life and my feelings and how I’m thinking about said changes. And gaining perspective on the happenings of life and those changes in front of me is half the battle.
  • – I practice gratefulness. This one thing is almost like magic. I believe in magic. Every day, I think of 10 things I am grateful for. If I’m sitting in mind-boggling traffic, I think how grateful I am that I’m forced to slow down and see the shapes in the clouds above or the graceful flight of birds or the shapes and colors around me that I take for granted because I’m too hurried. Gratefulness has a way of changing my perspective on life. Again, our perspective determines much of how we live our reality.
  • – Stay connected. This one is extremely tough for me. I’m an introvert. Extroverts don’t understand this about introverts…we need alone time to recharge. But that alone time can be a form of escape to the point introverts don’t want to come up for air and peek outside at life around. If I can connect with at least one person, then I usually can keep from sinking into despair. That’s critical when things just don’t go how I planned.

For now, I’ll count this article as a journal entry. The next item to practice is gratefulness. Then, I’ll make it a point to make a connection today.

Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Life Hack, Living Better, Reinvention, Self-Improvement, Suicide