Gossip

<em>How to Deal with Gossip</em>

How to Deal with Gossip

Gossip is defined as casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details not confirmed as being true.

Let’s be perfectly honest here. We have ALL been the victims of such, AND…have partaken in gossiping about others.

It’s hurtful when gossip runs through the workplace, and worse, through the family, about us.

It can flat out enrage us to the point where we want to go to each individual and explain, defend, and counter such lies.

But! That usually proves to be a bad decision because all that does is create more drama because we can never track down the source of said gossip and anyone who has touched the unholy thing will always pass off the blame and act surprised that you would even infer that they were part of the gossip chain.

After all, no one EVER sees themselves as a gossip.

We simply are passing on useful information to others because we’re concerned about the person we’ve heard the damaging piece of information.

And that’s the crux of it…the information is always heard and retold under the guise of being helpful to that person, because, well, we “care”.

Blah!

And! the more you chase the gossip down, the more frustrated you get because you realize that it’s people you thought you trusted with a few tidbits of personal information.

Did you know that the etymology, the origin, of the word Gossip comes from an old English word, godsibb? Godsibb means a person related to one in God, a relative or close friend.

That makes the pain of being the victim of gossip more acute.

So how do you deal with this? Can’t we just go and set things aright and make the world perfect and have everyone’s respect as we should!?

Um, well, not that easy, and usually No.

It takes a lot of time and energy to track down the gossip train and then by the time you do, IF you do, it just stirs people’s curiosity which fans the deadly fire even more.

And you will NEVER get the truth out of the person who started the BS. They will lie and deflect, and it will be like trying to nail jello to a fence post. Save yourself the emotional energy…stop worrying about who, and take care of yourself.

Here are somethings we can do that will help in times of being the target of such ick…

  1. It takes a shift in a few areas of our thinking. A mentor once said, “It’s none of your business what others think of you.” Ponder that throughout your day. That one statement has been in the forethought of my mind since when it comes to gossip and has been the key to implementing the other strategies below.
  2. Okay, here’s where it gets tricky…it’s been said that if there’s smoke, there’s fire. That usually draws out the moral firefighters (gossips) like flies on shit. So, if there’s “smoke” stirring in your life, then put it out, make better decisions, move on…let me repeat the last…Move On! The more you stir the fire, the more people talk, and none of those who talk give a shit about you, they’re only interested in themselves and how it makes them feel = superior! Because now they’ve found someone (you) that they think is lesser by your deeds and they’re more than happy to share that with others.
  3. Another piece of thinking that must change, and it’s hard…you have to believe in yourself. Stop trying to explain every action to those who are plugged into the gossip vine. Another quote that has helped from a mentor, “Explaining is draining.” It won’t help, so don’t bother. Live your life, make good decisions (the best you can), and the fruit of your life will squelch the gossip quicker than anything.
  4. Stop drawing attention to your personal life by telling everyone about what you are going through. This is tough if you’re like me and feel insecure and think you need validation every step of the way. Be very selective who you share your personal, intimate self with.
  5. Stop gossiping yourself. The most vivid lesson I remember was that I told a highly respected person, “Hey, did you hear about…” I wasn’t even finished speaking when he replied, “Nope. And I don’t want to.” Then he turned and walked away without saying another word to me. BAM! I felt stupid…BUT! I learned something powerful. And I still respect this man.
  6. Start associating with those people who do NOT gossip and are NOT plugged into the gossip vine. This might mean distancing yourself from certain family and so-called friends. Those who are not into gossiping about your life are the ones who lend love and support instead of always trying to put you down and dig away at your faults.

***

No matter who you are or what level of society you fit in, you and I will always be the target of gossip at some point.

The key takeaway here is to reduce your target by making better decisions in life.

Take responsibility for all the decisions made (good and bad).

And…don’t chase the wind by trying to counter the gossip. Believe in you; your actions will speak for themselves; live your life.

As you do, the gossip quickly dies, and those who started such crap will move onto others, while their credibility sinks into the toilet because none of the shit they flung at you will stick.


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Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Gossip, Life Hack, Living Better, Self, Self-Improvement