If You Were to do It All Over Again…

If You Were to do It All Over Again…

What would you do?

How would you do it?

What would you not have done?

What would you have said? Or not said?

Where would you have lived?

Who would you have married? Or not.

Who would you have allied with?

Who would you have not allied with?

So many questions haunt us from our past that it clouds our moment and causes us to fear the future.

In reality, our past is our past. We can do nothing to change it. We are where we are in life because of our past decisions—that’s a given.

You would not (I hope you wouldn’t) yell and scream at a crying child who is lost in your neighborhood. You would take that young child, comfort him, and tell him, “It’s going to be okay. You’re safe now and I’ll help you find your way home.” Then take the action necessary to return the little boy to his home.

Why are you any different?

Instead of beating yourself up over the past and filling your thoughts with the reruns of conversations of what you should’ve said, or the choices made that should’ve been made a different way; take a gentler approach.

Realize that this moment is precious. Tomorrow may or may not come to us.

Speak kinder words to yourself. Stop berating yourself over the past; it’s done. The only thing that can change about the past is how you go about your present.

Being present is harder than it sounds, but much easier once you stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself.

When the thoughts of the past (whether yesterday or yesteryear) grab and try to suffocate today, try this…

Tell yourself, “Yep, I did that. Doesn’t matter now, I’m moving on. And by the way self, I forgive you. Psst…I even love you.”

Those can be hard words to utter if you’ve spent a lifetime being mad at yourself over that decision when you were _____ years old.

But you can do it. I know you can. You can forgive yourself and give to yourself a wonderful gift of being in the present.

Stop right now and look around you. Look at the neat shapes and colors that surround you, right now while reading this article.

Being in the present is like leading that lost little boy home.

Being in the present is living intentional—no longer are you a slave to the past.

Being in the present is freeing and gives you the ability to live a new life; something that the past does NOT want you to do.

There are wonderful opportunities yet to be seized, and a wonderful life to be lived.

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Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Change, Intentional Living, Life Hack, Purpose, Self, 0 comments
<em>Is it a Matter of Biting Off More Than We Can Chew; or A Simple Case of Not Being Focused?</em>

Is it a Matter of Biting Off More Than We Can Chew; or A Simple Case of Not Being Focused?

It’s been 21 days that I have posted an article every day.

I am grateful for the self-imposed challenge, but I find that other things that are important to me have fallen by the wayside.

And herein is my dilemma.

This struggle is nothing new for me: I easily overcommit and run after the shiny things rolling around in the corner.

I want to write, but I want to do X, Y, & Z too.

But…I can’t accomplish everything and still maintain a healthy life balance.

I need to sleep sometime, and I find that is usually the first thing to go when I’ve overextended myself.

Sleep is a precious commodity to staying healthy and living a full and long life.

There’s a plethora of studies that confirm this and an entire division of science dedicated to sleep. It’s not a new concept that if you sacrifice sleep on a regular basis, you will sacrifice your physical and mental health, and shorten your lifespan.

Yet, it is never just one thing.

Sleep tanked, yes…but other areas suffered and were put on hold too. I found myself becoming more and more stressed by not having enough time in the day to complete other tasks: classes I’m taking, web design, working a part-time gig, reading, finishing a novel, and researching for the next article.

Because let’s face it, when you contribute to a site like Medium.com, you need to have well-written and well-researched material.

If you don’t have the time to read and research, your articles are not going to be the best. They’ll be littered with disjointed opinions and ideas that don’t add value to anyone; rather those articles just become another outlet for personal writing like you would find in a journal.

Of course, for some of us that consume such material—myself included—it’s one thing to read someone like James Altucher’s material (he bleeds all over the page about his life, and I love it), versus someone like Zat Rana who writes incredibly well researched and thought-provoking articles on a consistent basis (which I also love).

Well, there’s certainly a contrast between both, but also a common thread…both are well read, and both do a ton of research.

I find that when I’m not focused and am pulled by too many projects and thoughts and nebulous ideas at the same time, I’m frustrated, anxious, and do not produce anything that resembles my best.

This is why multitasking is such a high anxiety producer; you do just enough to check off the next item in the list of whatever that needed your attention right now, and then move onto the next 9-1-1 emergency vying for your mental and physical attention, but is it your best work?

So, for now, I’ll go back to publishing an article on a regular basis, whether it’s weekly, or bi-monthly, I haven’t decided yet.

What I do know is that I want my articles to add value and create a space in someone’s life to give pause and consider what is important and hopefully stir that consideration into a positive next step.



Being scattered and overcommitted in our lives creates a tension and anxiety that just doesn’t need to be.

That anxiety can be overwhelming, and our productivity suffers, not to mention relationships, goals and dreams, and our sanity.

The most satisfying and rewarding times in my life have been when I have prioritized what is truly important and then focused my attention on those things.

During those time, even when I’ve failed, being focused and not allowing myself to be pulled in every direction, those failures haven’t registered as a failure, but something to draw my inner strength upon and to figure a way around, under, or through whatever obstacle that got in the way.

And(!) when I’m focused and have my commitments aligned in a unified direction, my life is more at peace.

~ Love

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Posted by Christian Martin Jr. in Intentional Living, Life Hack, Productivity, Purpose, Self, Self-Improvement, stress, Writing