coping with holiday stress

This One Question May Help You Cope with Stress During the Holidays

Holidays are here.

Not trying to be pessimistic, but so is the associated stress that can come with them.

So I thought I’d share a lil question that has helped me through the years since I first heard it and my rumination over the same. Not to only help me reduce the stress of the holidays but just about every area in life that I’ve stressed over or freaked out about.

Here it is and here we go…

Does it Really Matter?

I don’t know.

I used to think it did.

Of course, I thought everything mattered. Hence, I was always uptight, upset, and unsettled which meant I was unhappy most days.

“Does it really matter,” he said. Mentors always have a way with words at just the right time.

I didn’t know. I thought so.

At the time, something or someone did something that I thought really mattered…and I was ticked.

Of course it mattered! So much so that it clearly made a huge impact on me that I now have forgotten what it was. But I have not forgotten my mentor’s words about what matters.

In 100 years from now, when we’re dead and gone, will it matter? Will it matter tomorrow morning? How about in an hour? Or…in 5 minutes?

I don’t know. Maybe it will. Most don’t.


There’s only so much energy I possess. Then I have to recharge.

I used to think that it all mattered, but it doesn’t.

I once believed what so-&-so was doing, did, or about to do, mattered to me. But does it really?

Gossip never does.

I suppose if someone is standing next to your house with a lit torch and about to set the thing on fire, yes, I would say that matters.

Yet, I think of all the years I spent frazzled, stressed, and bent about something, or someone, when I finally took an honest look at how short life is, I had to agree with my mentor.

Most of the things, situations, and people we stress over on a daily basis is not worth the energy expended.

Stress shaves layers of our health away.

It creates a tension in our minds that our thoughts feed off of and then we are viewing a picture show in our brains that is totally inaccurate and compounds the wrenching in our guts…usually over things and situations that won’t matter in the morning. Why? Because most of the scenarios we give ourselves to are not based in reality.

Fear and worry are the biggest fictional stories that haunt us.

So, I wonder about what does matter?


A little over a year ago, after making some huge life changes, I locked myself out of the house, and this is what happened…

  1. I immediately flashed a slight grin and chuckled, “Hmmm…”
  2. I checked every door and window: yep, all locked up. I congratulated myself, “Wow, good job. You really locked this baby up tight.”
  3. Sat down for about an hour and enjoyed the sunshine. Meditated a bit. Read and got some work accomplished on my smart device.
  4. Then the thought hit me…how to get into the house without breaking, damaging, or ruining anything on the home.
  5. I calmly got inside with a little help of some items I always carry.

After I got inside, another thought hit me, Wow, not once at any time during this whole event did I get uptight, upset, or unnerved—there was a day I would’ve destroyed a door or a window, not just to get in, but more out of anger.

And that…has been a process that has been intentional, purposeful, and filled with much self-examination over the past few years.

And that…made me happy…all because of, does it really matter?

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Posted by Christian Martin Jr.